No Clue In Virginia

Mission Success!

2010-10-31T13:54:00.001-04:00

I've been in Hawaii for the past week and before envy strikes, let me hasten to say that I'm here for work. Still, it's impossible to deny that Hawaii, specifically the island of Kauai, is a wonderful place to work. Johnny always accompanies me and we get the same condo every time so it sort of feels like we're coming to our place. The weather was more than usually rainy this time but that rarely matters here. Showers rush in, sometimes light and sometimes amazingly heavy, and then dissipate as quickly as they came. Fortunately, mission day was not affected by the weather and it all went well.

So what it is I'm doing here? This test was actually a Japanese test, where they demonstrated on their fourth and final Aegis ship they are capable of conducting ballistic missile defense making them the only country outside of the U.S. able to perform this mission. At all our missions, international guests are invited to view the event and I, along with a number of my co-workers, are assigned to drive them to the base and escort them as they are not permitted to wander around the facility on their own. At times, it's a bit like herding cats - the operations center is crowded and we have to know where our "guys" are at all times so the escorts continually confer with each other to make sure we know where everyone is.

When we first got to the range, we learned there might be a delay and in fact, there was. It was fairly short though and as we got closer to the target launch, the room, which had been clamoring with the voices of many different languages, grew quiet. The target launched! It leaves the island of Kauai and we can hear it roar overhead as it speeds it way into space. Our eyes are glued to the screens - we are anxious to see the ship release it's missile. It does, so another hurdle has passed and we hold our breaths for the end game. The missile achieves a direct hit! The room erupts in cheers and the Japanese, for whom this mission is critically important, are thrilled beyond belief. We in the U.S. are also happy - the success of our allies is a high priority and we couldn't be more delighted.

Check out this You Tube video - the Public Release Quicklook of the mission. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pr9WY2Xyj0

On another note, I had the privilege to escort several Naval Officers from the Republic of Korea. One of them spoke English quite well and we had an interesting philosophical conversation on the way out to the range (it's a long drive as speed limits are quite slow in Kauai). After discussing the difficulty of developing weapons that are sophisticated enough to combat the evolving threats our enemies are building, he mentioned that when he was a young, he believed the world could be made a better place. Searching for the right word in English, he said he was "idealistic" in his youth but now...not so much. I smiled and confirmed that it is so with many people but with age comes the realization that humans never change. There will always be those who seek to destroy rather than build up and that is why our job remains necessary. Evil is ever present. He then said, somewhat wistfully, "But I do not want to...", again he hesitated before saying, "I want to have hope". I told him that is why I believe faith is important - it allows us to hope for a better world and for an ultimate triumph over evil. He agreed and we discussed that for awhile. It was just an interesting conversation to have and it is experiences like this that make me love my job.

Youth is Wasted on the Young

2010-09-08T09:07:00.000-04:00

My mother asked me the other day if I’d seen any art when I was in Italy. We were in Rome in 2005 – business trip for me and Johnny is the perpetual tourist. I told Mom we did see wonderful works of art when we visited the Vatican and amazingly enough, the hotel we were in had magnificent artwork on its walls (the Hilton Cavalieri – here’s a link to their art collection: http://www.romecavalieri.com/cavaliericollection.php). She then asked me if I’d seen any art when I was there at the age of 17. It was a school trip and I recall going to Florence and seeing the statue of David but as I told my mother, I didn’t appreciate what I was seeing at the time. “Youth is wasted on the young”, I told her jokingly and she replied in all seriousness, “I know”.

This started me thinking about all the things I wish I’d paid attention to when I was young. I wish I’d asked my grandmother more questions about the family. Why didn’t I do that? Now that I’d love to know more about my ancestors, it’s too late to get that first-hand source. I do genealogy research (although not so much at present) and many of my fellow researchers have the same lament. I do remember one friend telling me that she was always interested in family history; even as a child she would ask questions. I never did though. I was too busy being young.

I was fortunate enough, as I have mentioned, to have the opportunity to go to Italy when I was 17. We visited Rome, Florence, Pisa, and Tivoli. I vaguely remember the Colliseum and the Roman Forum. I remember climbing the Tower of Pisa and being afraid to move at the top (heights are not my thing). I remember the gardens in Tivoli and of course, the Statue of David. With the exception of the gardens, I appreciated none of it. These days, I’m fascinated by history and whenever I have the opportunity, whether in the US or in Europe (where history is inevitably much older), I love to tramp around places and think about what once was. I love to research history. But at seventeen, I had no concept of appreciation for the past. I was too busy being young.

Conversely, there are some real advantages to youth. They have more stamina, for one thing. My step-daughter-in-law has a wonderful blog (http://mizwrite.com/) and her most recent blog was about first jobs. The responses to this have been really interesting and fun and I started thinking about how I worked multiple jobs when I was younger. I mentioned that I worked three jobs and went to college at the same time. I started working at a motorcycle shop when I was a senior in high school – they needed a bookkeeper and my bookkeeping teacher convinced me to take the job. After I graduated, I got a job in a glass factory (south Jersey used to be full of glass factories) working the midnight shift. So I would work all night, leave in the morning and go immediately to do the books (this was quick), then go home and sleep for a few hours. Then I’d go to school, come home and go to Sears where I worked in Women’s lingerie. After that, I’d head for the midnight job. Just thinking about this schedule makes me tired now. I couldn’t do this again - I’m too busy getting older.

My Mother My Child

2010-05-09T13:38:00.000-04:00

Today is Mother's Day. I wasn't blessed with children and sometimes, especially around holidays, I feel the lack keenly. But most of the time I accept God's plan, knowing there is a reason. Since my Mother came to live with us, I think I know the reason. She has become my child.

It's somewhat difficult to accept this version of my Mother - she, who was so strong (she could stand on her head and water ski holding the handlebar between her knees) and so outgoing is now content to sit at home and watch the world go by. I think one of the things those of us with aging parents experience is the vision of them as we remember from childhood. That they no longer look this way forces us to face the fact that we too are getting older and worse, we are approaching the day when we will be orphans.

Mom can no longer see very well and requires hearing aids in both ears. I think this is why she doesn't like to go out that often or talk to others - she can no longer distinguish faces and she doesn't want to ask people to repeat themselves if she hasn't heard them. (She's a champion of the "smile and nod" technique.) She tried going to church a few times but it was too hard for her to hear so she stays home and watches the Hour of Power on television. Leaving her home has become an effort she's no longer willing to put forth.

For some reason, she is obsessed with cancer even though this disease has not been prevalent in her family. Her cousin suffered skin cancer though and all winter long, she kept telling me she had skin cancer and pointing to areas of dry skin. We even took her to the doctor to reassure her and now it's become something of a joke. Just the other day she pointed to an area around her ear and said, "I found some more skin cancer" and then, after searching for awhile, "I guess it's not there anymore". "Right, Mom", I replied with no small amount of humor. "Because cancer goes in and out like that". She thought that was funny. Oftentimes, she gives me the cancer line just to get a reaction from me. She makes me laugh.

Holidays revolve around her. We always have lots of packages for her at Christmas because she loves the way they look around the tree. My siblings do the same so it looks like there should be more than just three people living in this house when one considers all these gifts. For Valentine's Day, she always gets candy and a stuffed animal (she loves stuffed animals). Last year for Easter, we gave her a giant stuffed bunny (blue, because as everyone knows, Easter Bunnies are actually blue) that she'd seen at K-Mart weeks before and never stopped talking about. This year it was a much smaller, purple bunny and of course, her basket of candy. She loves all these things and the attention that goes with it.

She gets things out of the refrigerator and leaves them on the counter. She saves napkins because she's only used a corner of one and the rest is "still good". She won't throw away food but after it goes bad, she'll tell us it can be thrown out. She piles newspapers on the floor and then slips on them practically every time she stands up. She washes her lunch plates and stacks them on the back of the sink instead of letting us put them in the dishwasher because it "saves water". She needs help bathing and getting dressed. She uses special tools to help her open cans and bottles because she no longer has the strength to open them. In every way, she is more child than adult to me.

If I sound like I'm complaining, I'm not. She took care of me when I was little and I am glad I can return the favor. She is a bright spot in our lives. Someday she'll no longer be with us. And the house will be terribly empty.

Happy Mother's Day.

Oh To Be in London!

2010-01-13T09:54:00.000-05:00

Oh to be in London, now that Winter’s here…okay, so I’ve badly butchered Robert Browning’s poem which focuses on all of England in the spring (specifically, April) but I love London in the winter. We arrived last night around 10:45 and by the time we got through Customs, picked up our luggage, got cash, and caught a cab to the airport, it was midnight. Our hotel is the Grosvenor House (a JW Marriott property), a hotel with a lot of history. If you’ve seen “Last Chance Harvey”, you've seen some scenes of this hotel. We checked in, dumped everything in the room and went downstairs to the lounge for, believe it or not…tea. Johnny has had a cold and chamomile tea has been a great help in soothing his throat. We enjoyed our pot of tea, served in exquisitely delicate china, and whiled away the time chatting and watching the many men walking about in tuxedos who’d obviously come from some formal function and were ending the evening with a nightcap. Finally, we headed up to the room, collapsing at about 2am after a very long day.

This morning we woke up at 9, when the maid was knocking. We managed to get ourselves up, showered and ready to meet the day…we were only about 10 minutes late meeting my colleague for breakfast. It was snowing, which was somewhat unexpected. Not hard, but the streets were slick and I had to make my way carefully through the slush to keep my boots from slipping. We went to Richoux, which is actually a tea shop but over the years we’ve learned they serve good meals no matter what the hour. I had my customary poached eggs and toast (brown…bread is always brown or white, not wheat or white). I love poached eggs but only seem to eat them in England.

Our next stop was the train station where we’d planned to buy train tickets for the next two days to save ourselves the hassle of standing in line. But the ticket issuer suggested we wait as many trains were being canceled and even though I believe tomorrow will be just fine, we agreed to wait. Gatwick airport was still closed last I heard and Heathrow had a number of flights canceled. It seemed odd to me since the snow we’ve seen has been very light and not accumulating but perhaps it’s heavier in outlying areas.

It’s very cold and my toes were freezing in my boots…the train station is open to the outside and it felt even colder inside so I decided I needed to supplement my inadequate footgear and get some thicker socks. We caught a cab to Selfridges department store. Selfridges & Co. isn’t quite Harrods, but it’s pretty impressive. Department stores are representative of a bygone era in the US; I remember my parents taking me to Philadelphia at Christmas when I was a child and I was always amazed at the size of the stores. I’m sure they still exist in places like NY but they still seem like yesteryear to me. Selfridges is 6 floors of everything you can think of – here’s a link to the floor plan if you’d like to check it out: http://www.selfridges.co.uk/index.cfm?page=1312&articleID=10043&artname=Lower%20ground

We were directed to the third floor for women’s socks which turned out to be an absurd collection of wafer thin socks that wouldn’t keep the bitter chill off my toes. The men’s department might have a better selection, I thought, so we headed back down to the first floor. There was a very nice pair of socks for 15 pounds, which is about $24 and I thought, pass. That was better than the cashmere socks which would have set me back about $122 – for ONE pair of socks. Um, I don’t think so. Who has money like this? They must get paid well in London. I finally found a package of 3 pairs of socks, athletic style, but black, and they were only 19 pounds for the 3 so that was something I could live with. They’re a little big but I think they’ll be fine – my boots have lots of room in the toes for the excess! We walked through the food and wine shop, one of our favorite areas of the store and finally headed over towards the hotel, stopping to buy water and cokes on the way.

Tonight we’ll find a cozy, warm pub and have some fish and chips – Winter in London – I love it!

A La Familia!

2009-12-31T11:47:00.000-05:00

Family is an amazing thing...they can make you laugh, make you cry, drive you completely nuts, but for me, the best thing is they are there. I particularly love large family gatherings...as a kid, holidays were always more enjoyable when the house was filled with not just our family (4 kids), but my many cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents. We're not such a large group these days; my siblings and their families and my Mom, but the four of us always have a great time together, laughing, teasing each other, telling the old stories over and over.

We spent New Year's in San Antonio and since Johnny is the oldest of 10, it's similar fun on a much grander scale. On our third night, Johnny announced he was cooking dinner. He loves to cook and especially loves to cook for a lot of people. He settled on chicken alfredo, a dish conducive to feeding large numbers. Normally, he has a rule that no one is permitted in the kitchen when he cooks. This time, not only was I allowed in the kitchen, I was allowed to help! I cut all the vegetables - in a specific order, mind you, and lay them in a bowl so he could cook them in reverse order. Mushrooms, green onions, celery, red pepper, green pepper, white onions, and broccoli...I think that was the order. Johnny takes care of the chicken and gets the sauces going. The kitchen is warm and cozy and wonderful food smells fill the room. Part of the family is already there...Mom, of course, and Larry, Patsy, Chelsea, and Larry Jr. Josie is there also since it is her day to help care for Mom.

While we cook, the doorbell is ringing as others arrive. The dogs, Cookie and Nala, tear around the house, get underfoot, barking madly and the house gets noisier. Josie's husband, Danny shows up, with sister-in-law Gloria and grandkids Boogie and Karen in tow. Dorothy arrives with daughter Sarah and Dorothy's husband Ray follows shortly after. We like to gather in the kitchen, even though it's hard to fit us all in there, and people pull up chairs and chat while we work. Dorothy brought salad and is busy in our corner, preparing it. Johnny sets me to preparing the garlic bread and while I work, I cast an eye over the family. A half dozen conversations at once - lighthearted and funny; slightly off-color and accompanied by raucous laughter; a family concern spoken of in quiet tones. The room is alive and vibrating - the hum of voices blends and swells. It's a real party!

Now it's time to eat. We serve the salad. Larry tells me he never used to eat salad but now he loves it and proves it by eating two platefuls. Toasted bread is placed on the table and we begin serving plates of chicken alfredo. Boogie, 11 years old, comes back for seconds. Dan feeds chicken to Cookie, who normally hates him but she was willing to call a truce in the face of chicken. Patsy yells - "no feeding chicken to the dogs"! Dorothy is babying Nala, a tiny chihuahua with a bark about 5 times bigger than her body. Larry, the ultimate critic, looks at me as he eats and says, "this is GOOOD"!

Gloria tells me, "this is the Johnny I remember...when he was a teenager he was always cooking for us and I would sit at the table and just be in awe of my big brother". She added, "it may sound corny, but it made me feel like a little girl again" (she's 60) but I understood. This family is full of characters, "a bunch of crazies", Mom says, but it's full of love and any time we get together, it's a real celebration.

Join me in a toast and echo the words of Danny Aiello at the end of Moonstruck...To Family!

Christmas Day 2009

2009-12-25T13:15:00.000-05:00

To begin with, we were supposed to be in San Antonio celebrating with Johnny's family. I was sorry the blizzard messed up those plans but we'll be there for New Year's and this way, my Mom wasn't alone on Christmas day.

Last night we visited our neighbors, Bill & Shirley who had all their kids and grandchildren with them. Mom and Bill & Shirley are good friends - Mom is always making soup or meat loaf and taking it over to them. We had a lovely time with them...first time we've met their family. Their two sons, Bill Jr. and John, both have newborns who were absolutely adorable. Mom bought presents for all the kids - she was like Santa, handing them out. The babies, of course, knew nothing, but I think their mothers appreciated the little baby outfits.

After that, Johnny and I went to Mass...we usually do the midnight service but I was just too tired so we went to the 9:00. We went early and they had a carol sing ahead of time that was a lot of fun. The service was beautiful and we were pleased to see Father Richardson there - he's been recovering from back surgery and is still in a wheelchair.

This morning we woke up early - had coffee at our desks until we heard the "pitter patter" of feet upstairs (Mom and the dog)! We ran up to get the holiday started - and I baked cinnamon buns...the cheat kind in the roll, but hey, they're still good. It's still snowy outside since there was so much of the stuff last week...so for the first time in years, it was a white Christmas and despite what some people may think, a white Christmas is NOT overrated! I'm loving it! The sky is gray and we are expecting ice (Booooooo) today but no precip so far. Mom placed calls to my sister and my brothers and step-brother. We ate cinnamon rolls. Then she opened her presents. It's funny how sometimes she seems like a kid to us...at some point in your life, you just seem to revert and instead of getting older, she often seems much like a child and so much more so at Christmas when everyone is a kid anyway. So she had lots of presents to open because we all like her to have presents to unwrap. It was quite a haul between the 5 of us kids giving her stuff.

When I baked the rolls, I realized the oven was dirty from the apple pie I made yesterday...so I decided to clean the oven, not realizing that you can't even use the burners when the oven is self cleaning....I shut it completely down when there was 2 hours remaining because I really wanted to eat dinner before 10:00 tonight. Now things are simmering and roasting as they should be. I'm cheating on the stuffing (Stovetop) but I saute onions and celery so the house smells like it does when I actually make the stuffing.

We watched The Nutcracker, which I had bought the last time we were at the Kennedy Center - it's the Mikail Baryshnikov version...can't believe I'm 53 years old and have never seen this ballet...or for that matter, any ballet. It was marvelous...the dancing is incredible! We'll have to make an effort to see one at the theater.

Johnny is shoveling off the deck - we never got around to that and Mom just went to take a nap. I'm going to go check the turkey.

Merry Christmas and God Bless us all!

Things Our Driver Told Us

2009-12-23T21:41:00.001-05:00

We were recently in London and on the ride back to the airport, we were lucky enough to get a car service who sent a JAGUAR to pick us up! Seriously, I've never ridden in a jaguar and I was very impressed. Okay, so I'm easily impressed...but a JAGUAR!

The car was cool...the driver was much cooler. Sati talked the whole way to the airport and even though we've been to London numerous times, told us things we'd never known before.

He showed us the gate to Kensington Palace, which I've never noticed despite having ridden past it to and from the airport plenty of times.

I mentioned that I loved history and he asked me to name three famous Kings in the world. I was on the spot...I picked William the Conqueror, Louis XV, and Tsar Nicholas. (This last because I just couldn't think of any other King outside of England or France.) Then he told us about a pub along the route called Famous 3 Kings. I had noticed this pub on numerous occasions but we've never gone there...and who are the three kings, you might ask? Sati said, Henry VIII (I should have known that would be one); King Charles (but he didn't know from where - definitely not England); and Elvis Presley. Really. He slowed down as he passed the pub and sure enough, on the sign, there is Elvis Presley in gold lame, standing in front of the other two "real" Kings. We'll have to get back there and take a picture of that sign.

Another interesting thing he mentioned was a restuarant called Dans le Noir. I looked this up online and it's not unique to London but I'd never heard of it. It's a restaurant where you eat entirely in the dark...for a real sensation of what it's like to be blind. Not for the faint of heart but it certainly sounded interesting. He said it was expensive and some of the comments I saw on line indicated the food wasn't a great value for the money. I just thought the concept was interesting. Not sure I have the guts for it.

That's all I can think of now...